Commodore Nicole's Blog

No, I hate him.

2010-03-15T08:01:00.000-07:00

When was the last time you did a meme?

And I've got some time to kill because these files are taking f-o-r-e-v-er to write and move.

What type of day are you having? Not too bad considering DLST seems to be having an opposite effect on my sleep. So tired yesterday, yet unable to sleep.

Was there anyone who "made your day"? Jenny pointed out a wrestler who looked like Quasimoto.

Are you liking how you look today? Hair totally co-operated this morning. It's cute and spring-y.

Do you have anyone crushing on you? Mikko...better be.

Have you ever eaten a bug? No, maybe. But after seeing more spiders in my house then necessary I'm afraid I might with very little to say about it.

Are you vegetarian? No. Loves me some Mickey D's double cheeseburger.

When was the last time you kissed someone? Kissed a toddler, a baby, and a husband so far today.

Have you ever had something stuck between your teeth, but no one decided to tell you? Probably.

Are you a mother or a father? Yes.

When was your last paycheck? Friday. Need Friday to repeat this coming Friday.

How many pets do you have? 1 terrorist dog, and 1 adult cat who needs to get a damn job or go to college - she's old enough.

What kind of toothpaste do you use? God, I wish I knew.

Are you closer to being rich or poor? What's the glass filled with?

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Depends on if the toddler has crawled into bed with me.

What was the last gift someone gave you? I got beautiful flowers for Valentines.

Do you appreciate that person? Immensely.

Did you talk to anyone you didn’t like today? Does my alarm clock count? Cuz that bitch just needs to stop.

Do you like picnics? Yes. Need to plan some this summer.

What book are you currently reading? Pirate Latitudes

What song did you last listen to? "What do you Want from Me" by Adam Lambert.

What movie is in your DVD player? Wiggles.

How many windows are open in your computer? 15 (No, I'm not kidding. And that's pretty typical of my work flow.)

Are you a very stressed out person? No. But I'm getting a little worn down trying to keep up with work, the house, and lack of sleep. Really it's the constant "thinking" that's starting to chip away at my ability to be sane.

Tell her I feel fine.

2010-03-09T09:06:00.000-08:00

The 120-day New Hire probationary period is about to expire. We've decided to keep the Newest Employee as a permanent member of the Kinnunen Corp team. You know, because she's just so darn cute!

Look at the cute baby!!!!

I'd like to say that the first 4 months have been a snap, but I can't. That wouldn't be honest, nor would it be realistic. Bringing a new baby home should never be described as a "snap". Anyone who does say something so ridiculous is either delusional, selling something, or has an army of nannies who do all of the actual work. Did I mention that I think that every new mom SHOULD have an army of nannies to do all the work?

And now for the details. Because who doesn't love a good birth story? Everyone!!! On Nov. 18th Mikko and I arrived bright and early to the hospital and the staff started getting me prepped for delivery. I got a chance to meet all the people who'd be assisting my OB. Oh yeah, there were plenty of people who'd be there - the OB, the nurses, the SENIOR anesthesiologist, the pediatrician, a urologist, a couple of attendings and a few interns who just wanted to hang and see how this all played out.

See, here's the short and sweet of it - the combination of the placenta previa (position over the cervix and over the previous incision) and the acreta (placenta growing through the uterus wall) is fairly rare which makes my repeat c-section a prime teaching moment. My OB has been practicing for a long time - she'd seen 6 (six!) similar situations and all of them "not a piece of cake".

My OB went over what was going to happen: slice me open, get baby out; then try to get the placenta to detach and out long before I lost too much blood. All while leaving the uterus in it's happy place. The anesthesiologist explained to me that for my safety they were going to have me go completely out. This would allow them flexibility to react to whatever might happen. The nurses let me know that because of the baby's early delivery date they would be taking her to the NICU as soon as she was evicted.

And that is pretty much what happened. Oh, except the part where the placenta detaches. That didn't happen. And so...I am minus one standard issue uterus.

I'm not really sure when I woke up later that day. A few hours maybe. I remember the nurse and doctors being very reassuring. I remember being told that everything was going very well; that I was good and that Phoebe was perfect. I remember that I felt very out of it. I remember Mikko telling me about our Teeny Titan. It struck me that she was soooo teeny tiny. I remember that I wasn't going to be able to see her and they promised to get a picture for me. I remember deciding to text my friend Karyn because I just needed something to concentrate on.

I'm sure I was told that the uterus had been removed. But I don't remember. I think because I knew it already - that it really didn't matter. I do remember when they told me I was on my 3rd unit of blood. That was strange to me - I'd never gotten new blood before. I think I had a thought about being a vampire now - but managed not to say it out loud.

A nurse brought a picture of the New Employee at 2am the next day: Via Twitter: Pinchable cheeks, button nose - yep; that's a daughter of mine. 2:06 AM Nov 19th, 2009 via txt It probably took me 30min to key in.

I would meet the sweet little girl the next day. Our first picture together is way fuzzy. Which is pretty much how I felt. I'm sure she agrees. Phoebe took to the training program fast. She slept and she ate in 4 hour increments. Which is about as much as I could handle.

The lactation consultant visited me and set me up to help get the ol' baby feeders started. She said considering everything, I should just do what I could. I got the feeling that nursing wasn't going to go all that well (Let's just say that I provided an pre-bottle appetizer for 4 weeks). Everyone from the Baby side was eager to get me over there - but everyone on the Mom side weren't ready to let me out of their sight. They needed to make sure I didn't take a sudden turn in my recovery. That happens, and it can get really bad.

By Friday, things were really starting to even out. Everyone started their greetings with "You look sooooo good", I could hold onto a thought for more then 5minutes and they had removed 3 or my 5 lines. And with that - they transferred me to the Baby ward where Phoebe and I got to hang out, eat, and rest, rest, rest. We even got a chance to watch the "Pirates of the Caribbean" trilogy!

It wasn't until nearly two months after Phoebe's birth that I'd get back to the one moment I don't remember. Even before Fiona was born, I'd heard of Placenta Previa. But nothing like what I had and certainly not the possibility I had been facing.

At Christmas a close family friend and I talked about her almost exact experience. It being 30 years ago, she did not have the benefit of having known prior to her second sons birth about how exciting it was going to get. And it did get exciting for several days. She reassured me that life was going to be as good as it ever was.

But it seemed odd to me that had I ever seen the condition profiled on any of the dozen or so medical shows that run 24/7 on the Discovery channels. At the end of my Maternity leave one of the traumatic birthing shows featured a mother of 5 who had a similar condition. Watching this, I was perfectly serene - till the moment they showed her in the O.R..

Then the whole pregnancy came into focus. By seeing her under general anesthesia, I saw myself. And yourself does NOT like to see you so vulnerable. In the 7 months that I was aware of the condition I was never blissfully ignorant of the severity of the situation but I certainly wasn't preoccupied by it either. Seeing this women in surgery made me REALIZE the danger. And just what I could have lost, and what I did.

I would later find out that it wasn't just one acreta but two. There really was no chance of me keeping that organ. Which is fine; I'm here, Phoebe's here. We're all fine here - now, thank you. How are you?

Keep your station clean... or I WILL KILL YOU!

2010-02-25T11:02:00.000-08:00

So before I got my shit together I managed a little shop in Gibraltar - Jim's Galley (Yep, nautical themed, imagine that). I pretty much worked with one other adult (in age only) and the rest were teenagers.

The shop served pizza, salads, grinders, and so on. There was a moderate amount of food prep to be done and most of it had to do with cutting, slicing, and chopping the veggies.

I being what I would call a NORMAL person would use the appropiate tool for each specific task. Something I picked up HELPING MY MOM in the kitchen and by watching the Frugal Gourmet.

Most of the teens I hired were -uhm- ridiculously uninformed about food prep upon entering the work force. So I developed the Veggie Peeler Test.

During the training period I would make sure a variety of tools were within arms reach and clearly visible before setting the trainee to task. I'd SHOW THEM EXACTLY what needed to be done and how to do it. Using the specific tool for slicing tomatoes, chopping onions, cutting cucumbers, or whatever else was on the list.

On their next shift, I'd set the tools out again and then instruct them to cut cucumbers.

It never failed that they'd pick up a cucumber, completely ignore the peeler as their finger tips brushed over it to grab the largest chopping knife and proceed in committing veggie hari-kari.

The cucumber would go from cylinder looking to completely squared off. The slices would be box like and about a third of the size they could have been.

After thanking God they hadn't taken off a finger in the process, I'd pick up the peeler.

Nicole: What is this tool?
Teen: I don't know?
Nicole: You've never used this before?
Teen: No.
Nicole: How did your Mom make a salad?
Teen: uuuhhhhhh (blank).......

I seriously wanted to call their mothers. One, to clarify that the teens weren't just saying they didn't when they really did. And two - to question what the hell they were doing as mothers if their child hadn't used a freaking veggie peeler ever before in their lives. (This was before I was a Mother so hense my own ridiculous assumptions.)

For the record I tried on several occasions to start with "This is a veggie peeler, we use it to do A,B, and C." It NEVER stuck. The next time I told them to do something that required they use it - they'd just pick up the biggest knife they could find and destroy a poor defenseless piece of produce.

But the Veggie Peeler Test wasn't just useful for gauging their skills, it also gave me insight into their ability to take direction, their maturity, and a huge look at their personality.

For the most part I determined that they were all good persons who would do well (eventually) - but that without a doubt they were all mentally disabled and pretty much unable to process rational thoughts about the future, their well being and the consequences of their actions.

Really the The Veggie Peeler Test was not about choosing the Veggie Peeler - it was about choosing a good tool for the task at hand (I would have accepted a pairing knife as an acceptable choice). Because if someone can't determine how using the biggest freaking knife ever (with a blade that only JASON VOORHEES could wield elegantly) to cut up a cucumber could pose a danger to their well being -yeah- brain action impaired.

FYI - I only ever had TWO employees that passed the test from the get go. And they were girls.

Now, I'll admit that I have in fact used the biggest knife in the drawer to cut up a cucumber. Mostly it was to show those little snots that I could wield the weapon AND produce a beautifully sliced cucumber to adorn the a salad worthy of the Waldorf. But there was a element of putting some fear into them about Nicole's knife skills - can't run a tight ship without the crew being just a little afraid.

That's all you need in life, a little place for your stuff.

2009-11-02T06:43:00.000-08:00

Until it swallows you up whole.

Yesterday, Mikko, 3 friends (who are basically family) with me directing, moved around our house to make room for the New Employee. This included emptying the contents of the The Pit of Despair (aka the basement) onto the front lawn, then moving most of the stuff (aka Nicole's craft and sewing crap and pieces of her soul) from the office down to the basement, then moving the Master boudoir to the upstairs to leave an empty canvas for what is to become Fiona's big girl room, so that we can re-set the nursery for the new baby.

The garage is now a holding area for some stuff that will be coming back into the house, but most of it will be heading for the curb. The amount of crap that will be going out for garbage and donation pick up on Wednesday is unbelievable (I'll post a picture of the garage later) and it kinda makes me sad - uhg why were we sitting on all that stuff?

I take full responsibility and admit to being a pack rat. I've known this for most of my life. My mother told me this when I was knee high to a grasshopper. I've watched those shows (Obsessed, Horders), and while I am NOT psychologically attached to a lot of this stuff, I do have to work at NOT squirrling things away. The amount of crap that is still hanging around the house in the form of electronics, craft stuff and infant-baby-toddler toys/clothes/accessories/equipment makes one twitchy. It's less then what it could be, but a hella lot more then what it should.

Sooooooooo.....

For the next year. I am declaring a state of emergency at Kinnunen Corp. I'm cutting off our influx of stuff. Anything that requires space to exist in my house is going to be scrutinized to the enth degree. If if wants to access for a in-determinate amount of time, then it had better come with a 5 page report of why it's worthy of those inches.

And I'm asking everyone's help in this. So to anyone who thinks we are worthy, please for the sake of my sanity (and Mikko's because if it drives me crazy - he suffers) that all gift giving opportunities are - Not necessary. We love, respect, and think highly of all our close family and friends. The gift of you in our lives is gift enough.

However, since I know I wouldn't be able to hold myself to such a restriction (I do love to wrap a lovely gift), if gifts must be given, we humbly requests gift cards to places that won't encourage us to bring anything into the house. I know that this sounds absolutely like this the worst sort of personality defect known to humans - to request monatary gifts - but I'm desperate. In fact, if you come up with a better idea that doesn't come in a box to be stored, put some place, shelved, and or "-sumed in some way" - I'm all for it. I seriously do not want to ask my family to come help me dig myself out again.

I'm not swearing off being a consumer for some altruist reason, I simply want to take control of the "matter" in the house. And while the economic situation should have something to do with it - furthest thing from my reasoning. Mikko and I are children of the 80's for gods sake, consumerism has been injected into our system, and there is no re-hab for that. And seriously, being a consumer is just so delectable, makes you so so sooooooo warm and fuzzy inside...

I'll be a little flexible on some things, and things for Fiona and the New Employee because I've got my eye on a few toys that they simply MUST have, (and they've got to be indoctrinated to the American way somehow) but seriously - this wave has got to take a break. At least for the next 400 days, Kinnunen corp is going on such a strick zero-waste policy, we*** don't even want have anything to zero-waste.

***By "we" I mean The CEO and Head of Kinnunen Corp. Fellow Board Members and employee's had very little to do with this idea, and while shaking their heads in agreement are problably taking bets as to when I'll break this little derective. Anybody have next week?

I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

2009-10-28T07:49:00.001-07:00

Last time, our peppy preggo was left precariously dangling on the limb of testing results, pausing ever so patiently to learn whether or not the stray placenta got it's giddy up and go, and made progress to happier pasters.

da-da-duhhhhhhhhh......

I'm not happy to say that the answer is - no. As of the last ultra-sound the placenta had not decided to move on to a better vantage point and may have grown more attached to it's co-hort the Uterus. Between my doctor and a specialist, they are preparing for the delivery to be a much bigger ordeal then just announcing the New Employee into the world. There is a good chance that if the placent and uterus do not say fond farewells, and part ways, they will be leaving me together.

It's a disconcerting thought. Saying adios to your uterus. I'm not overly fond of this organ (especially at the moment), and I don't overly romanticize what having uterus means to me. Yet, we've never had that much of a problem either. For the most part, it did the job it was designed to do, and I provided technical support. What shakes me is that my body routine will not be as familiar as it once was - ever again. Sure there are pros to the cons, but it's change. And while change is good, an adventure - for me, the transition is often bumpy, full of tears, and not all that fun.

Are all you guys uncomfortable with all this yucky plumbing talk yet? Tough, it's good for you.

What does this mean for the New Employee? Means that she'll be evicted a tad earlier then the expected due date. Not really for her sake, because she's all happy and comfy and rolling around, kicking every other organ she can get her appendages on just like an new hire candidate should be. But more for mine. The c-section to deliver the New Employee with all the factors is tense and my doctor would really like to retain as much control as possible. My being in labor makes the proceedure more a reactionary situation and not so much a proactive one.

The other thing is that my doctor would prefer that the New Employee do that last 4 weeks growth spurt on the outside. With the overly romantic relationship between placenta and uterus, all exits being blocked, and the possibilty of the Candidate taking after her 9lbs sister, if allowed full time in uteruo, the integrity of her quarters could be weaked and cause a rupture. When was the last time you saw a Sci-fi movie where the ship lost outer shell integrity and everyone went - "Meh. No problem."

So, to answer that ever so popular question "How am I doing?" That everyone askes with the tilted head and the wide eyes. I'm doing okay. Mikko is probably the same as me - minus the hormonal driven spreading of the hips. Baby is fine. Fiona is oblivious. Whatever happens - happens. We can do what we can to direct and shape the situation but there are things that we just can't. I'm fine with that.

If the New Employee could just come with a name tag letting us know what to put on her paper work - now THAT would really put the whole hiring process at ease.

I like this ship! You know, It's exciting!

2009-08-19T18:23:00.000-07:00

After a couple of Rants, I suppose I should share something a little more light hearted.

Lets go back a few weeks. On July 30th we headed into yet another ultra-sound, but this one was going to be exciting. This one was going to reveal the much anticipated news of our employee candidate. We would get to find out the gender. Or so we thought. After 45 minutes, some dancing around, emptying the bladder, shifting this way and that, baby was stubbornly stuck in a tucked position. Baby would not reveal the goods. Which in reality is something we want to promote, but later. You know, after we get a look. We left, with another appointment scheduled for 2 weeks. About 2 hours later, Baby decided to do something to make it up to Momma - kick her, roll around, and jump on her bladder.

But the U/S did reveal something that could prove to be more important. The tech noted that the placenta had moved to an undesirable position. Did you know that it travels? Yep, takes little jaunts around the womb. The position it was in was covering the cervix - you know the natural exit. The position does not affect baby's connection to me, but it's just not really a stable place to be hanging out.

Promptly Monday morning, I got a call from my OB's office. The nurse informed me that they suggested I restrict my activity. The main things being no heavy lifting, no extended working out, and no prolonged stress. Mostly, everything was fine, they just wanted me to be cautious until my next regular appointment.

Having heard about this condition before, I was well aware of what was going on. But it does toss a little dust on your happy preggo glow. However, as with most women who are diagnosed with with this condition, there is the chance that the placenta will get a hitch in it's giddy up and mosey along. So yes, it's an issue - but resolvable.

And then I had my regular appointment. Now, let me state for the record that I love my OB. She provides excellent informed care, and relates to her patients with an authoritative but personal touch. I know that I can tell her anything, and she'll take it into consideration and really consider it. I also know to believe her when she says "that's normal". So with that in mind, I trust her when she tells me that everything is good, but things are not perfect. The placenta is not only haunting my cervix, it's also sitting over my incision from my first eviction. If it doesn't move by the next eviction, then things have possibility of going bad. I prefer "get exciting". Doctor made if very clear that "bad" was not what was expected, just a possibility. But she wanted me to understand now that what was expected could go to bad in just a few minutes and I needed to know what that meant. I'm still swallowing the word hysterectomy.

Drink more water, more relaxing, restrict activity, stay out of the heat and no heavy lifting; make another U/S appointment in 6 weeks and I'll see you in 4.

Which brings us back around to the next U/S. On Tuesday we headed back to the U/S office to finish up the appointment we started on the 30th. With in about 10 minutes, and with a lot of prodding, the tech happily announced that the New Employee is a Girl. A stubborn little girl who did not make getting the measurements required very easy. Nor did she pose for pictures at all.

So, big news - Kinnunen Corp has been taken over by girls. We are both very happy and excited. Mikko is clearly not prepared for how frilly, pink and princess-fied this house is going to be. As for current employee, she has been made aware but I'm guessing has no real concept of what it means. However, I'm pretty sure that she'll be as over the moon with arrival of the New Employee as we will.

And here we are. Excited about what will come, and a little apprehensive about what can come.

This ain't no game, flash.

2009-07-28T06:30:00.000-07:00

Dear NFL-

I'm not sure when I've actually watched a whole game between two of your teams; so I won't claim to know much about your organization.

But I do know a few things. And those things are pretty lousy. I know that a small chunk of your players seem to find themselves in A LOT of trouble on a regular basis. The kind of trouble your fans would have a hell of a time getting out of while these players walk away scott free. To which your usual reaction is to let some sort of PR nonsense dribble from your management lips. I get the feeling that your golden rule is "Bad Press is still Press".

Your reasons for keeping these menaces to society on your payroll start with how important they are to the fans. That the fans want to see these rehabilitated fiends shown some compassion and allowed to make a living and contribution. Which, I'm sure you know, that I know, is a load of crap. You keep them on the teams because their name made headlines and those headlines will put people in the seats, and cash in your pockets.

It's kind of sick, ya know that you parade your players around like heros and do everthing in your marketing power to raise them up to a pedestal of adoration; TO KIDS non-the-less. When a good portion of them are the worst example of the human condition. Thugs, filanderers, rapists, addicts, dealers, violent monsters, and psycopaths. Not to mention the ones that just feel they are infact God's gift to the world.

I'm not sure if you know this but, if you would just fire these scum bags; it wouldn't take much to find another player to fill his shoes. And the newbie might be more inclined to run a better path to keep his job. The fans will love him just as much, if not more then the other guy because he could be a pure legend. The fans just want to see good football between two teams of good, sportsmen.

Recently your former Golden Boy Michael Vick was released from prison and you welcomed him back with open arms. He has served his time and suffered enough.

Really? He's suffered enough? How exactly has he suffered? A person cannot suffer without there being a tragedy. So what exactly is Vick's tragedy? Because everything that has happened to him in the past 3 years has been of his own doing. There was no accident, there was no great struggle to overcome, no unexpected catastrophe. If you do illegal and immoral things, it will come back to you - it's just a matter of time.

I realize that his reinstatement is conditional. Are you still suspending him for 4 games? Which is ridiculous at best - it's kinda like an at home suspension. Which is basically a vacation. A suspension is suppose to work as a humiliation tool. But really 4 games is a drop in the bucket; even IF he actually felt any shame.

Others have commented that he has served his time and has the right to start again fresh. To rebuild his life. And I do agree with that. However, I don't think handing him a free pass back to his old life constitutes "rebuilding" ones life. He needs to make amends, not the public and certainly not to me, but to those he carelessly used for his own gain - the animals. Vick's new life should be ALL about restitution, and not the monetary kind, because actions speak louder then anything. Vick's new life should be dedicated to taking care of and living for animals as a Humane Society or SPCA volunteer. I know it will never happen because as you keep saying, so someone might actually believe it - he's suffered enough.

What exactly would get a player tossed out of the NFL? Come out of the closet - to the public? Nah, too big of a fan base.

Oh, I know - I bet denouncing God would do it.

Weight has nothing to do with it.

2009-07-27T07:45:00.000-07:00

Alright...I have had enough. After 35 years, I lost my ability to remain rational and just let people be prejudice bastards.

Every day I am besieged by the subject of Weight. And I've had it. Just seeing the word makes me see red with overwhelming anger. And that means I'm angry about this ALL THE TIME! I dare you to go 5 minutes without seeing an add, or hearing someone talk about weight. Good fucking luck.

And it's not because I am overweight that I've lost my patience, it's because of what my weight apparently means to everyone else. Apparently I am a slob, a gorger, a lazy good for nothing, unhealthy, smelly, stupid, over emotional, takes up too much space, less then a human, ticking death bomb, disabled, ugly, hideous, person and something needs to be done about me.

What, is our society running out of others they can publicly humiliate, criticize and hold prejudice against so they turn to the one thing that everyone has to agree on: Poking at fat people is ok? Skinny people think it's ok, because they always whine about how fat they are until they see someone who is fatter then they are - and suddenly the bull shit starts.

Guess what? It's never ok to descriminate someone. And if you engage in this kind of behavior you are the lowest of the lowest pond scum that has ever grown on this earth. My judgement of you has nothing to do with a physical characteristic, but what is in your heart. Your heart is filled with scum.

Recently Fox News (a perfect example of the scumiest scum of the earth) did an editorial critizing the recently picked candidtate for Surgeon General because she's grossely overweight (you'll just have to google it because THE HELL I'm going to link that waste here). Which got the anit-fat league to take up their scales and join the fight. Did any one of these prejudice scum bags stop to consider her actual health? Did any one of these hypicritical ass hats stop to think about how her weight has NOTHING to do with her being able to do her job? Nope. FYI - it's approx. 40 pounds they're ending her appointment about.

Nope, because all they see is the fat. Actually, I don't think that Fox sees anything. They just know that society likes to poke at fat people and they just ran with it. As for the Anti-fat League. These are the shit heads that said Jordan Sparks shouldn't be the American Idol winner because she is too fat. Then why did people vote for her? Oh, because her weight has no bearing on her fantastic voice!

See how that works, your actions and skills speak louder then appearence - Imagine that!!!!!

I will however link the ABC's version of the story. Because it presents a well balanced story. And sites people who are using their brains and not their prejudice hearts. One person says that the general public wants to see our leaders, experts, and idols as prime examples. Really? What is that saying about "Casting Stones"? And damn, do a lot of politicial, religiuos, and activist leaders have some explaining to do.

What I want to know then, how exactly these people explain the public adoration of those located in Hollywood? Because they are the creme of the crop of how to lead a healthy and successful life with their daily doses of adultry, lying-cheating, illegal business practices, breaking the law to suit them, questionable eating habits, drugging, drinking, reckless sexual habits, "accidental killing", asshole behavior, careless parenting, and revolving door visits to rehab.

Of course this opinion is balanced with anothers call on it. (In my words) That yes, the person who holds this leadership role should follow a healthy life style, but her healthy lifestyle and weight are not mutually exclusive.

And let's not to mention that little detail that her rise from poor roots to a successful intellignet award winning doctor "you can DO anything" story will have no bearing in peoples minds because she's just too fat for anyone to care. That couldn't possibley be a better example to all our young precious snowflakes.

This is what I want answered. And if this answer is always-always-always true then I will accept it as written in stone. Is any thin person always more healthy then any overweight person? Good luck proving it, you'll notice I'm not holding my breath.

Speaking of Hollywood - Dear writers. Get some new jokes. The current fat jokes are wearing really fucking thin.

Never did no Wanderin'

2009-07-13T05:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, maybe a little bit.

Put an X by the states you have been to. The average is 8; how do you match up?

Just for fun, put an O beside the states where you have lived.

Airports don't count!

Alabama -
Alaska - X O
Arizona - X
Arkansas -
California -X
Colorado - X
Connecticut -
Delaware -
Florida - X
Georgia - X
Hawaii-
Idaho -
Illinois - X
Indiana- X
Iowa - X
Kansas -
Kentucky - X
Louisiana -
Maine -
Maryland -
Massachusetts - X
Michigan - X O
Minnesota -
Mississippi -
Missouri - X
Montana -
Nebraska - X
Nevada - X
New Hampshire -
New Jersey - X
New Mexico -
New York - X
North Carolina - X
North Dakota -
Ohio - X
Oklahoma -
Oregon - X
Pennsylvania - X
Rhode Island -
South Carolina - X
South Dakota -
Tennessee - X
Texas - X
Utah - X
Vermont -
Virginia - X
Washington - X
West Virginia -
Wisconsin -
Wyoming- X

That would be 28.

Pregnant? You're forty-three years old!

2009-07-09T10:58:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to drop an update about the new employee. Things are going along swimmingly and everything is good.

During a visit with the Outside HR contractor, she suggested that I might consider having some additional testing done. The OHR didn't believe that the testing was necessary, but that based on my age, several performance issues could come up with the new employee. Since I'm of "Advance Maternal Age" at all of 35, there could be some genetic abnormalities. That combined with my very slight Jewish heritage, the baby could be prone to a few genetic issues.

Having consulted with a few other Hiring Managers about the Triple Screen or Nuchal testing, I felt that it was a small ordeal with lots of peace of mind. The Triple Screen has 2 components, first is anUltra sound to look for signs of problems and the second is blood testing.

Mikko and I arrived with plenty of time for the U/S - to the wrong place because I wasn't paying attention. Did I mention he also nailed me in the head with the passenger seat sun visor? We are SO going to talk to Kinnunen Corp. HR about that. We waited for a few minutes and then were called back to speak with the doctor. The doctor detailed the procedure, the results and what that would mean. As I said, I'd talked to several moms about this screening before and pretty much knew exactly what he was saying. It basically boils down to this: the results could be something so severe, parents may consider terminating. It's not pleasant. But like I said, the peace of mind was the goal.

After our consult, we were off to the U/S. The tech got off to a good start and then nothing.

IC II flipped and went to sleep (So like Daddy). No amount of jiggling, or turning got the prospective employee to flip again for a better view. I had drank A LOT of water, as requested, and the more she pushed down with the scanner, the more I was afraid I was going to have any accident. So the U/S was declared a wash, and a follow-up was scheduled.

Three days later we were back in the office. We got to skip the consuling and when right for the big show. Having consumed a bucket of pop over several hours pretty much gaureenteed that the candidate would be "up and at 'em". So active in fact, IC II had hic-cups (So like Mamma).

Baby was good and the tech was able to get all the measurements she needed. We were of course told that they'd call with the results with in a few days IF something was urgent.

Following the U/S we headed over to the Lab to have the blood drawn for the second part of the test. After a blood technition fail, another stepped in and got what was needed. Same thing, they took a few vials of blood and sent me on my way.

Thankfully, I was headed out of town, and that kept me from obsessing about the results. A few days after I returned from my trip (and still no phone call) a form letter arrived and told me via a list of bullet points - nothing was found.

Peace of mind achived. Although I'm a little concerned that the candidate is not one for pictures. We are now up to 3 photo oppurtunities and have yet to get a decent picture for the Employee ID card.

All I smell is your bullshit. For six months, I been pourin' money down a bottomless hole.

2009-06-04T06:25:00.001-07:00

I recently heard that several large Music Labels are going before congress and the senate to propose a tax for radio stations. The Performance Tax would be on local stations to pay music companies money for the songs they play over the air and streaming.

Now everybody thinks they deserve a bailout.

Now let me say, that I am actively supporting the No Performance Tax crusade. But I'm not 100% behind this website. There is a lot of spin in their language and it irritates me. But sometimes ...Fire with Fire. You know?

This new TAX is nothing but a shallow attempt to re-fill the Music Labels pockets. It's no secret that the digital age has caused a major upheaval in the Music Industry. That because of their absolute denial to move with new technology several years ago, Music Labels and Industry moguls spent all the money they pocketed selling $5 cds for $25 fighting it, then doing what the audience wanted - to embrace it.

When any Media bigwig says "But this is what you wanted" it's Distractionary bullshit.

So the Music Industry is looking at using this Performance Tax on Radio to bail them out of their own bad decisions. Bad choices like cutting popular artists who found better methods to get their art to their fans, and over paying, over spending, over subsidizing the careers of the current catalog of artists. Remember when every freaking singer was guzzling Crystal like it was water? I do. I wasn't impressed. Who do you think paid for it? We did.

If I thought for one second that it was worth it, I might be on board with the idea. But I don't. Music Labels need to look in their own house, and start taking stock. Get a budget together, scale down, cut back, open the door, toss the rubbish, and look to the future. Just like their audience has had to do in these hard times.

Their whine is that without this tax they can't foster new artists, that without this money the people behind the stars won't be able to do their jobs. More distractionary bullshit. New artists and the production staff are the essence of the business, cutting them out would be like holding their breath until they died.

What they need to do is look at the parasites.

Fire the artists that are nothing but flash, that don't actually have any talent. The actors who think they can sing, the singers that are really just looking for an avenue to reach their dream to act. Next fire 7/8th of the marketing team. If you weed out all the posers and keep the true artists, then you won't need a PR army to convince the audience to buy into the no-talent hacks. Also, halve all the money you spend in promoting an artist. If they have talent then you won't need to spend crazy amounts of money dressing them, styling them down to what they drink, plastic surgery to make them look just like the other labels girl, getting them into parties, their videos, and spin money. Let the music speak for it's self.

Speaking of the music. How about cutting back on the theatrics of a tour shall we? Sure they are hella entertaining. Do we need them? Not even a little bit, seriously. You say we "want" to be blown away, but really the audiance just wants to see the band sing their songs. Cut out the siezure inducing lights, the flames shooting out of everyones ass, and fire everyone who is not in the band prancing around the stage. Singers singing, music being played, that's it. Ok, fine, may be a little mood lighting.

Next start looking at those artists who actually bring in money. They bring it in, but what do you spend keeping them happy? Stop paying for stuff that the artist should be paying for. If they need to have their hairdresser flown in to Cali from Podunk, they need to pay for it. Designer originals, one of a kind this, unique that, an assistant to carry their dog - all out of their own pocket. And video's all get shot in the continental US. Stop paying for their vacations.

And for god sake, if your artist, whether rising, standard, or falling, is failing at being a decent human - fire them. Kick their ass to the curb, box their shit and put it on the side walk. Don't harbor them, don't coddle them, don't cover it up, hand them the bill for damages and seriously don't try to convince me it's cool, funny, hip, or OK. It's not - ever.

The Performance Tax on Radio is the Music Industries way to continue their life style because the audience has stated that we are tapped out and we're not going to pay anymore. If we allow this bill to be passed, then they'll take it from out pockets anyway. Tell your representative that Music Labels are not entitled to this tax. They have done nothing to derseve it.

You become an employee of this firm, you will make your first million within three years.

2009-05-29T06:46:00.001-07:00

I'm happy to announce that Kinnunen Corp. is in the process of hiring a new employee! The interviewing process should take about 6ish more months. The timing is really convenient because we'll be able to introduce the new team member around at all the holiday parties. And they'll be here just in time for us to collect the new employee tax credit for the year.

So far the candidate has been very amiable and not causing too much upheaval. Since I'm the hiring manager a lot of the work has fallen to me, and I must admit it's a little tiring, and at times makes me a little nauseous. Which is nothing compared to the first time Kinnunen Corp. brought on an employee. But a quick cat nap and some tortilla chips seem to help out.

The first appointment with the outside Human Resources Contractor was completed a few weeks ago and everything looks great. The candidate appears to be happy, healthy, and hearty. And the perspective employee's first picture was taken.

The Head of Kinnunen Corp. and the other executive have decided to keep the news of the candidate on the down low from the other employee. We're pretty sure she'll be excited and welcoming, but we're not quite sure how she'll handle the info. She's pretty smart, creative, hard working, and very entertaining. But can be a little thick about understanding the more abstract concepts.

For right now, we've decided to refer to the candidate as Ice Cube II. The project name worked out so well the first time, why mess with success.

Check back for updates!

Causality. Action, reaction. Cause and effect.

2009-05-27T07:09:00.000-07:00

I want to address a few things that have been floating about my brain lately. These thoughts really have no bearing on anything and will have no impact once they've been put out there. I'm hoping that by writing them out, it will spare my dear husband from having to hear me rant about them further.

1. Mel Gibson - You've managed to pull a Costner*. This means that you managed to build a solid career over several years. Making yourself a guaranteed commodity. With deals and exchanges you were able to get people to help get some of you own ideas onto the canvas, which also had success. By doing this you managed to amass some serious cash with which you began putting together your own project. Which went nuclear. Then - you lost all connection with reality. And now you are a tool. If fact you've moved on from "The Costner" to pulling a Cruise*.

*The Costner - the act of getting to big for your britches, making insane and ridiculous demands for your current triple threat movie thus driving the budget into the stratosphere and having that movie flop so hard on it's ass that everyone takes a spanking.

*The Cruise - Getting a young starlet pregnant before getting married in hopes of reconnecting with your audience.

2. California and Prop 8 - Who would have ever thought, Iowa would make you look bad. So disheartening. I'm not talking about the people. Because as I've said, I can understand individuals making the best choice for them. But when the justice system cannot make the right choices to enlighten their society it dents my faith. This is an example of exactly what is wrong with our country today. We are no longer moving forward. We've been stagnant for so many years. We've made some great strides, but not across the board like it needs to be done.

3. Jack Black - I caught a little snippet that said that you were done with writing. Please Jack, reconsider. I understand that you feel disappointment with the box office failure that was "Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny " but I want tell you that it really was a funny, creative, and entertaining movie. You are not a bad writer. All the story needed was a little more focus, a lot less crazy, and more just you and Rage Kage.

4. Nancy Pelosi, Dick Cheny, ect. - Are you seriously trying to use deflection tactics to take the heat off yourself? Are you serious? Are you 6years old? Look here people who are trying to deflect the issue that water boarding was done at all, I could give a flying rats ass as where, when, how, and if the Speaker of the House knew about the torture that was being riened down on these people. Lets keep to the main issue here. These abhorrid actions were being done to people when there was no reason to go that far and it was carried out throught some pretty shady permissions. The only people that need to be front and center answering for their knowledge in this situation are those who gave the go ahead. All others will be dealt with accordingly.

5. Big Business - All of you. This year has been a warning. Get back to the ideal of providing service, quality, innovation, employment, truth and knowledge. Your money grubbing, bottom line, marketing lies, bullshit has come to an end. I really don't give a crap that your business, bank, newspaper, collective has been around for a million years. Your goal became "me" and "we" are going to put "you" out of a job. Just like they said in the Matrix, they attempted to create a Utopia, but we kept waking up. We cannot be kept dumb, happy, and satisfied for to long - we know it's a dream that we didn't work for.

I could keep going. But I'll spare you for now.

When you ask for trouble, you should not be surprised when it finds you.

2009-05-26T07:29:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday, I was listening to NPR on my way to pick up Fiona after the long day. They were featuring a project from a NY affiliate that had High School students producing stories from their lives. This particular story was from an 16 year old inner city mixed minority girl. She lived with her single parent mother and a younger brother. With in moments it was pretty apparent that she felt she was the center of the universe.

But not in the traditional sense. At first she made a few comments about her life that were pretty typical of the age. That her mother didn't trust her, that she was a good person who did what she was told, and did what she could to live her life. Comments that confirmed what we all know about Year 16. It's a precipice. The one year that can dictate the next 10, the next 20, or the rest of our lives. But then her comments revealed the true nature of her character. She explained that no matter what she did, she could never make anyone happy. That no matter what she did, someone was there to make her look bad.

One example was a cousin who was always making her look bad. The cousin was a virgin, she was not, the cousin was valedictorian, she would never be that, the cousin made all the right choices, she was always in trouble. The girl also talked about a typical hangout where all her friends and local teenagers hung out. She detailed the ritual of the boys collecting girls names and numbers and how she felt the need to participate even though the name of the ritual sounded more like notches on a bed post then just contact information.

This girl living the year that could be one of the most important of her life, the one that dictates her future, made it clear that she felt that she was the center of a universe against her, and that she had no choices in what happened to her.

The feature wraps up with her in a session with her school counselor. She is there as part of her punishment for being arrested. The counselor, asks her a series of questions to pull the events leading the arrest out of her. She explains that two boys, who were not really friends approached her at school and asked her to ditch and come shopping with them. She knows she is not suppose to skip, but she goes along. They go to the mall, and the boys pick out clothes. She knows they can't possibly have money to pay for the clothes. The boys give her a credit card and tell her to take the clothes and pay for them. She knows the card is stolen. As the boys leave the store, she goes to the counter to complete the purchase.

When the counselor asks her why she did all these things, she has no answer. She knows that everything she did was wrong, and the consequence. But she explains that trouble always finds her. The counselor, who is irritated by the ridiculous idiocy of the situation carefully explains to the girl that she has reached a point where she has just two choices. The girl can choose to keep at her life the way she is and end up in Rikers Prison. Or, she can choose to make better choices and go on the a higher education, a better life, a successful future.

The girl reiterates that she wants the second choice. But says that she will most likely end up someones young baby momma, facing time in the jail.

I don't think she can see how anything she chooses to do different will change the fact that trouble always finds her.

I have not stopped thinking about this story for 6 days. I have a daughter, and she will be facing Year 16 one day.

Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now.

2009-04-22T13:49:00.000-07:00

"We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?"

Dearest Daughter of Mine -

Last year January, we had a little commotion and adventure. I believe we discussed it and agreed that we didn't need to freak Momma out and visit the ER ever - a - gain. So, I'm a little mystified as to why you felt the need to up the anti?

Love
Momma.

For those of you who missed my multiple postings everywhere else....

After dinner on Sunday, around 5:30 I checked Fiona and realized she had a fever. I changed her clothes, diaper, and gave her some Motrin. We all just chilled out in front of the TV.

A few minutes later I saw her jolt and figured she was falling asleep. So I let her be and continued to read my magazine sitting right next to her. I kept an eye on her because I figured if she fell asleep I'd just put her to bed. I then realized that she was not watching the TV but completely out of it. Her eyes were fixed and rolling, she was not responding to my voice, or touch.

I went into emergency mode, and Mikko started to get ready to get out of the house and got me a cold washcloth. When I realized that she was ridged and her lips were turning blue I told him to call 911. I laid Fiona out flat checked what I could check and just breathed into her mouth and nose. Her lips were blue, but she was making breathing sounds, but I really have no idea what was really happening. At this point she was getting a little flexible and she was blinking. But not really responding to me tickling, pinching, and slapping her face (really I was really frantically slapping her).

At the same time I could hear Mikko continue to give our address, and I was getting VERY irritated that no one was on their way. But a few minutes (if that, I really don't know) later everyone (EMT, Fire, Police) showed up. She was starting to come out of it, but was falling asleep. They assessed her and asked me what happened, her history, any other possibilities.

Once they decided that she was pretty much through it, we left the house for the ambulance. They checked some more of her vitals and then off to the hospital. Fiona was pretty aware by this point but no fussing, she only cried a little when they pricked her toe for a blood sugar test.

At the hospital the nurses took Fiona's temp. Which I never got a chance to do and still have no idea how hot she got. They gave her a dose of Tylenol and we pretty much chilled out for the next 2 hours till we got a dose of augmentin and another temp check.

The doctor examined her, and diagnosed a Febrile Seizure because the fever came on in less then an hour, the result of a pretty cruddy ear infection. Now that she's had one episode (last years emergency is suspect) she really could be predisposed to more. Doctors say she shouldn't experience any sideffects or damage. (I just want to throw up saying that.) I swear I'm considering giving Fiona a dose of motrin every 6 hours for the next 4 years.

So that's our adventure. Again.

And you ain't fooling me with that Fort Sumter story.

2009-03-26T07:51:00.000-07:00

Yep, this is two months ago.

For our annual Spring Vacation, the Kinnunens raided Raleigh, North Carolina!

Last year we really didn't make an extended vacation - and boy was I itchy for a vacation this year. So as is our usual method, I looked over a map, found the places that have people we know and blindly dropped my finger. North Carolina ended up being the place.

I say I know people there, but that isn't exactly the truth. When it was confirmed that Fiona was on her way, I joined a internet message board of moms who were expecting babies in August. I quickly found myself in a group of great people. Over the course of 3 years, we have shared so much that it would be impossible for me NOT to call these women "bossum friends". We talk almost every day...but a lot of us have never met face to face.

So when all the stars aliened, and the moon was in the seventh house, and all the plans came together and the opportunity came along for me to meet of the two ladies. I jumped.

Pre-trip Reservations
Getting everything organized was not too bad. I used the internet for everything and I feel like I got some deals. I started out with the comparison sites - but found the best price on the official site. The hotel was a little difficult only because I'm not sure what to trust. My instinct or the reviews. And no matter what place I picked there was always great and horrid reviews. "Great service/moldy smell". In the end I just picked a place that had a good location - next to the mall.

My only real hassle came with flights. I used reward miles from a card, and flight miles from my NWA account. Coordinating the flights, seats, and what not took almost 2 very frustrating hours, and a couple of phone calls. And these issues kept popping up! For instance, when I was checking us in on Tuesday before departure - I realized that I never got an email CONFIRMING Mikko's ticket. Talk about a kaniption! Needless to say - I got it worked out. I'm thinking of canceling our account though.

Wednesday
We dropped Ronnie off at the kennel with his recently cleaned teeth, and made our way to Metro. Since I'd planned our time pretty close, we didn't spend all that long at the airport before boarding.

I was anticipating Fiona's reaction to getting on the plane. She was hesitant but did pretty well. Stopping a couple times down the ramp to make sure it was stable. Fiona really did great. She got into her own seat just fine, listened to the Stewardess and put on her seat belt, and was very patient the whole time. Take off went great. She leaned into me for comfort. Holding my arm but that was it. The flight was spent snacking, reading, coloring, and playing with her blanket and her doll Mamie.

We landed in Raleigh around 11am and went about getting our baggage and going to rent the car with plans to head to the hotel after. As for the car, we got a Chevy Malibu. Decent car - but not our Accord. The pickup lacked, the turn radius was ridiculous, and the turn signal sound was beyond annoying - think the Popcorn techno song from the 70's-80's.

Did I mention it was 80 degrees? Bright sunny beautiful spring day? It was great! A nice preview of the season to come. After checking in we decided to get lunch at a local southern bistro. You know one of those places that just "is" local food - Chick-fil-a. The food was really good! I wish we had one here. From there, we decided to take a drive and check out the area.

Finding our way around was made sooooo much easier by the GPS feature on Mikko's phone. We just punched in an address or even the name of something an a few seconds later we've got a destination.

Downtown Raleigh is very nice; beautiful buildings, clean streets, decent traffic. Looks to be your average city that has it's act together (opposed to Detroit that COULD be awesome, but isn't). Lots of historical buildings mingled in with modern and new style. I love that contrast.

One thing not lacking in Raleigh and the surrounding cities - Colleges and Universities. During our driving tour it seemed we couldn't go 5 miles without passing by another School sign. That starts to explain why things are a little competitive down there.

After we'd looped the city about 4 times we headed back to the hotel to let Fiona nap in a bed and to get ready for dinner. For dinner we'd be meeting up with my friends from the board - which we call the Island. To be honest I felt really nervous, and excited and just really giddy. I felt like I was going on a blind date. I felt like I had to have make-up on, and my hair done just right. Very thrilling.

I kept thinking, how will I know them. We've often posted pictures on our board, but not that many of ourselves. But as we walked up to the restaurant I immediately saw Morgan and Kristen waving frantically at us. I could have picked them out of a crowd with one eye.

Dinner was fabulous! And I'm basing that solely on the conversation and guests. I remember almost nothing of the food. It had to be good because Mikko liked it and Fiona ate a few bites. Talking with Kristen and Morgan face to face was no different then when we are online. Except the conversation goes soooooo much faster. We gabbed and talked, and laughed, and made plans for the next few days. Mikko, Fiona, and Morgan's husband Kenny and son Duncan soon gave up the table and went to find more entertainment then us three ladies jabbering.

Once the kids had had enough, we all said our goodnights, and shared hugs all around. And confirmed plans to meet again. It was a wonderful night. And not something I'll soon forget.

To be continued.

the Land of the Dolls

2009-03-03T07:36:00.000-08:00

I'd like to expand on a few comments I've gotten -

Joyce requested some pics showing Astrid in all her glory. I'm happy to show her off if it leads Joe to being a little more busy (although he's got a few orders just from me to fill).

Front

Back (awesome hair)

with another Joe creation

Next, Amy pointed out Fiona's awesome tutu. She's been wearing it pretty steady since the fall.

I have a feeling I'm going to need to burn it. That is of course after I've made one exactly like it and made a slight of hand exchange only a magician could envy.

I'm a mental patient. I'm not impressed.

2009-03-02T07:24:00.000-08:00

So, who told Fiona how to use phrases? Cuz you and me are going to have a little talk. I really really do not appreciate her command of the English language when it includes things like "I doun wan it", "uh - no", the ever popular "Mine!" or the line that is screamed at the top of her voice that is currently un-intelligable.

I know someone has to be responsible because these things don't just happen overnight. And that is exactly what happened. Before there were one word requests, but now orders come in 3 or 4 words. I suspect that I can also blame the culprit for giving my little baby growth hormones because she grew about 2 to 3 inches in that time as well. I'll be sending you the bill for having to re-stock her pants in size 3T.

Actually steroids make a lot of sense since she has been having moments of what can only be termed as 'Roid Rage. Moments of flailing, screaming, and rolling around on the floor like a crazed animal; only to stop at the drop of a hat and then hop away like nothing happened. Has to be HGH.

A couple of other things. Whats the deal? Why did you find it necessary to tell my child that she needed to wear her tu-tu every waking moment? Could you not have waited till she had a better command of her feeding skills? Because that thing is getting just nasty from all the food dropping on it. And I really haven't the slightest idea how to clean it (that would be the least amount of work on my part). Not to mention her favorite accessory, the straw hat that bearly fits her noggin? Seriously - I'd want to burn these items if she wasn't so freaking cute in them.

And lastly. Uhm, what exactly was the logic behind teaching her how to communicate colors? See here's the thing. I'm really proud that Fiona has really nailed down recognizing colors. That is aces. But telling her that they are refered to as members of The Wiggles is just really weird. When we see a blue car, she points out the "Anthony" car. When she sees a purple balloon, she requests a "Jeff" balloon. When she wants her pacifier with the red handle she asks for the "Murray" fire. When it comes to yellow it gets really complicated because both Sam and Greg wore yellow shirts.

And it's not just colors. There is this really random association when it comes to translating "Fiona". Whenever the child says "Happy Birthday" I'm looking for candles she wants to blow out. That took me almost an hour to figure out...my ears have yet to recover from the whining. Names of things she wants to watch have more to do with her favoite part of it, then it's actual title.

So how about you just come forward and we can have a little tête-à-tête. I promise I won't get to physical. But I just might have one of those Fiona styled tantrums.

Candy hearts and paper flowers - Will always keep me close to you.

2009-02-27T10:26:00.000-08:00

Fiona received a special gift from her Uncle Joe. A friend created by him just for her.

Fiona is shaping up to be a baby doll girl. She has a few now, and while Momma has had to name them, she takes good care of her little brood. She is very loving of them, thinks about their needs, and is always looking for a cuddle. Of course Momma gets to share in all this - you know because taking care of a live little girl isn't enough.

We have named this newest addition Astrid.

I'm an old broken down piece of meat

2009-02-24T11:12:00.000-08:00

The Wrestler - Movie Review

So a few date nights ago, Mikko and I were considering what we wanted to go see. With it being Awards Season, there wasn't a lot to choose from. You have your nominated films, or you have the sludge movies that the studios have to make to appease the actors contracts.

Now usually I'm all for nominated films. I mean they are nominated because it's some quality stuff. Except...there is a lot of peril going on in these films. And honestly...I'm having a hard time digesting peril since becoming a mom. Not that I'm all for peril at any other time...just that since adding this little person to my life, I don't need to seek out more worry - even if it's only for 2+ hours.

Now, much like my experience with The Lakehouse and it's tie to City of Angels, I'm not one for "Down and out" movies. I got burned pretty bad by Leaving Las Vegas. I felt absolutely horrid after that movie and it took alternating viewings of The Pirate Movie and Star Wars to get me to cast off my Eeyore mood. So no, I don't actively seek out movies when the potential for the main characters to end up broken or dead is fairly high.

After considering the options, we decided on The Wrestler. I figured I kind of already knew where the plot was headed and I'm not a huge fan of Mickey Rourke anyway, so how much could I become invested?

Uhm, more then I thought. I wasn't giddy when we left the theater, but there wasn't a rain cloud hanging over my head either. I really enjoyed this movie. It is touching movie, and it will resonate with your feelings. But not in the Hollywood style of wrenching your gut till you scream of pain just for the sake of showing the actors skills.

Mickey Rourke plays Randy "The Ram" Robinson. Once a great star in the world of wrestling, he is reduced to independent circuts. Basically the events were the has beens, the wanna bes and the never will bes cross paths to cheaply entertain the fans. Randy wrestles because that's what he knows, he does it really well, and people still cheer for him. Life, however, is a completely different matter.

Life he is not good at. In the ring he can plan out a match so that he and his opponent can showcase the best of their abilities and give the crowd a good time. In life, he can't pay his rent on his shitty trailer, his part time job is working for a lousy manager, his clothes are tattered, his only sincere friendship is with a exotic dancer who he pays to have face time, and this is all fine with him as long as he can wrestle.

And when he has a heart attack that forces him into retirement, his perspective changes very little. He is content in the fact that he did do it for as long as he could. Like he's saying to himself "I wrestled. And now I'm retired." Unfortunately he realizes how lonely he is. His wrestling gave him a rosy tint to his gray life. And when it's gone he is lost.

In a effort to live his retirement he tries to form real relationships with the people around him. One being the exotic dancer Cassidy (played by Marrisa Tomei). This character is suppose to be his mirror image, reflecting what he could be. Maybe she isn't living an ideal life, but she is living her life. She is a women who is quickly coming to the end of her career, and she knows it. Cassidy tries to keep Randy at a distance, but realizes the same thing he has, they need to form personal relationships because they won't always have their career.

I enjoyed the subtle story telling. At almost every turn, there was opportunity to include some really edgy material. But it didn't. For example in one scene he invites one of the neighborhood kids to come hang out. I thought for sure that something inappropriate was going to happen. Or if it didn't, the kid was going to later say it did. But nothing ever materialized from the event.

Instead the scene was used to show how simple The Ram was. He wanted the kid to come play his Sega game with him. So that he could feel a little of the adulation. Didn't really pan out though. Seeing as he was fishing for worship from a kid who was too young to remember The Ram at the height of his fame with a Sega consul that is older then him.

I really appreciate this choice by the writer, the director and the actor. Because sometimes I think these heightened dramatic moments usually get included simply for the sake of "pushing the boundaries". Of course thats what you're suppose to do to get a nomination.

That isn't to say there isn't any drama to the movie. There is. Most of it surrounds The Ram's relationship with his estranged daughter. I thought these scenes to be the most sincere and relative the the audience. This is a man who could be angry at the world for everything he didn't have. But the lost fame didn't matter. He just didn't want his daughter to hate him or his memory for that matter. Unfortunately, through his inability to manage his life with the skill same skill of a wrestling match, she doesn't even hate him.

There are some pretty gruesome wrestling scenes thrown in. I probably only call it gruesome because I (unlike my great grandmother) am not a huge fan of wrestling. But there is a few pretty funny moments too. While preparing for a match, The Ram and a partner shop a dollar store to find props. At one point I think you can hear them giggle like school girls.

Much like the character, The Wrestler is a simple film that follows the last days of a guy who simply wanted to do what he does best - wrestle.

One last thing:
I know that Mickey Rourke has really done a number on himself. That he, like his alter ego, could not live life even if it was written for him. But can someone please tell me what the hell is going on with his finger nails?

Why you gotta be such a ballroom weirdo?

2009-02-19T07:25:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again. Get you ballroom shoes on because it's time for Dancing With the Stars!

"The Go-Go's" lead singer Belinda Carlisle will dance with returning pro Jonathan Roberts.
Comedian and Actor David Allen Grier will dance with Australian Champ Kym Johnson
Songstress Jewel will pair up with newcomer Dmitry Chaplin.
Olympic Gold Medal Gymnast Shawn Johnson dances with DWTS Champ Mark Ballas.
Raptress Lil Kim is paired with DWTS Champ Derek Hough.
Actor Gilles Marini is paired with two time Champ Cheyle Burke.
"King of the Cowboys" and husband to Jewell, Ty Murray will dance with newcommer Chelsie Hightower.
Jackass idiot Steve-O will drive returning pro Lacy Schwimmer to distraction. If she thought Lance was high maintenance she's in for a surprize.
Access Hollywood Co-Anchor Nancy O'Dell will pair up with returning gentleman pro Tony Dovolani.
Model, Actress, and reality subject Denise Richards will dance with returning pro Maksim Chmerkovskiy.
Football hero Lawrence Taylor will dance with DWTS's longest running pro Edyta Sliwinska.
Country music writer/singer Chuck Wicks will find out the true meaning of relationship when he dances with girlfriend and returning champ Julianne Hough.
Steve "The Woz" Wozniak from Silicon Valley will dance with the returning fiesty pro Karina Smirnoff.

When are men going to learn that women want ROMANCE, not Mr. Toad's Wild Ride...

2009-02-18T11:04:00.001-08:00

I have been tagged to do a picture posting.

The rules: Go to your photo storage area and select the 6th folder and then select the 6th photo. Post it!

On August 5th, 2008 (you know Fiona's birthday) I went with dear friends Megan (introduced book to), Diann and Janice (introduced books to me) to a book signing by Sherrilynn Kenyon. She writes the Dark Hunter series (Trash Novels). She gave a great little talk and answered a few dozen questions including one of my own.

(I have read two series hers and Jasper Fforde's that include two characters with the names Acheron and Styx - so I asked her about it. I didn't expect anything more then what she said. That she knew of Fforde but did not realize the connection.)

We had a lovely time waiting to catch up and talk. It had been awhile since I'd had a good long conversation with Diann and I realized how much I missed her. I'm glad that this little event has led to more frequent communication.

And this is where I admit I cheated - I went from the bottom. Because it's just more interesting.

A Whole New World (- all over again).

2009-02-17T06:12:00.000-08:00

Just when I was about to add a few things to my list of what "pisses me the hell off" I came across something that makes me take that much needed deep breath, relax, and fall back into my seat and know that the world will be (relatively) all right.

That something is - A new Disney movie! And not just a dorky computer animated movie but a new HAND - DRAWN - MUSICAL Disney film. I feel like I just did a shot of Dove Milk Chocolate with a marshmallow chaser.

"The Princess and the Frog"

From Wikipedia -

The film, which began production under the working title The Frog Princess, will be an American fairy tale, Broadway-style musical set in French Quarter of New Orleans. A prince named Naveen from the land of Maldonia, is transformed into a frog by the evil scheming voodoo magician Dr. Facilier. The frog prince asks Tiana to break the spell by kissing him. However, the kiss doesn't break the spell but rather makes Tiana a frog, as well. Together the two of them must reach the good voodoo priestess of the Bayou, Mama Odie, while befriending a trumpet playing alligator and a hopelessly romantic firefly along the way.

This will be the first Hand Animated movie from Disney since 2004's "Home on the Range". Whether it was the dismal reaction to the film, or Disney's desire to compete on a equal gameing screen with Pixar, the decision was made that it would be the last. I think they've been eating those words ever since. And when Pixar joined Disney guess who decided to start up the pencils again - John Lasseter.

...the artists on The Princess and the Frog will use traditional pencil and paper that is scanned into the computers. Although a new pipeline for hand-drawn animation has been developed at the studio, like digital coloring without CAPS, the actual animation process remains the same.

The former trend in Disney's hand-drawn features where the characters were influenced by a CGI-look has been abandoned. Andreas Deja says "I always thought that maybe we should distinguish ourselves to go back to what 2D is good at, which is focusing on what the line can do rather than volume, which is a CG kind of thing. So we are doing less extravagant Treasure Planet kind of treatments. You have to create a world but [we're doing it more simply]. What we're trying to do with Princess and the Frog is hook up with things that the old guys did earlier. It's not going to be graphic…". He also mentions that Lasseter is aiming for the Disney sculptural and dimensional look of the '50s. "He quoted all those things that were non graphic, which means go easy on the straight lines and have one volume flow into the other -- an organic feel to the drawing."

Not sure what you just read? Let me translate: We tried to compete with the young whipper snappers (that we fired) and their new fangeled technology and they still beat us. So we bought them and they took over. And then they made us go back to doing what we do best. Imagin that.

Huh, you know what I find funny. Disney's last 10ish years just played out like a Disney film. Except they were the villian.

to display some kind of judgement.

2009-02-13T11:35:00.000-08:00

Let me just say that I love love love my Valentine flowers! Most beautiful-stunning-lovely gift.

However. I'm an ignorance is bliss kind of gal. But I having a really really hard time maintaining my ignorance of late. I am besieged by information- all of it poking eye out worthy. All kinds of things have me pondering the plan to just pack the essentials and head for the hills. I'll just pack up my family members, toss some stuff into storage tubs for each of us and away we go to some secluded mountain cabin. Where I will grow all our own food, sew all our own clothes, and live off the grid. (Please know that as you read this Mikko is flipping out.)

The Bankers are just pissing me the hell off. Of all the things they should be worried about; their number one priority is getting back their positive image with the public. I'm willing to bet that they will spend CAH-RAZY amounts of money on PR Reps to spin a tale so wonderful, it will have the public sending THEM donations. Here's an idea, how about you do what your suppose to do, and then we'll think positive thoughts about you?

How about you fix this mess YOU created. Stop blaming China, stop blaming spending, stop blaming defaulters, stop blaming each other and stop playing GAMES. You all know exactly what you did to bring this all down on the US. Stop trying to justify your greed. Nobody is buying it.

The Peanut Chaos has me at my wits end regarding whats in our food. Have you seen the list of all the recalls? I'm suppose to do the bi-weeking shopping and I will be damn shocked if there is any food at the grocery store. The really crappy thing is that people have died NOT from food related issues, but because those who are suppose to be doing their job could just care less about anybody's health when their bank account is at risk.

Policies were not followed. The factory was not kept up properly, cleanliness rules were not followed, violations were ignored. There is only one reason for this: money. This is all so ridiculous that people have gotten seriously ill or died because business men didn't want to spend some money out of their pockets. Or...what they would have done, layed some people off to save the money to make repairs. But they couldn't lay them off because it would have slowed production.

Suleman and her herd. But my agitation is not so much about her (I think that she is utterly disconnected from reality) but about the idea that many-many people just do what they want with no regard to what is responsible. It's one thing to pursue happiness, it is quite another to pursue happiness while making everyone around you unhappy...or completely ruining their lives. She is the perfect example because she went after her desire while completely oblivious to those people she should be thinking about ABOVE herself. She gave no consideration to the lives of her existing children while chasing after her need to add more.

Oh and if I hear one more lame excuse for a human spew their idiocy and then follow it with "Don't judge me" I'm going to lose it. You cannot use it like "Olly-olly Oxen free".

Saying it doesn't negate whatever despicable thing you have done. And - I'm going to judge you. Just try to stop me. Besides if those words escape your lips, it pretty much admitting you knew full well you shouldn't be doing what you're doing.

These are just a few things. There is so much more.

Wocka wocka wocka.

2009-02-11T07:02:00.000-08:00

Found an interesting article on CNN's Mental Floss.

Identity of the Muppets

Growing up, I would look forward to watching The Muppet Show. I really liked the puppets, the singing, the dancing, and the general silliness that goes on during the show. I know that I never really knew who the guests were. Every so often Mom or Dad would give me some clue to what the person was famous for; but I'm sure it still wasn't very important to me.

I do remember one particular guest appearance, but I didn't form this idea till later. Alice Cooper once appeared on the show and it was then I realized one very important factor of what it means to be a performer. They are NOT always who they appear to be on stage.

On stage, Alice Cooper appears to be all that is evil, satanic, and goulish (I have a hard time even writing that because I KNOW that that is just a stage act). But in the show, he shows a softer, highly intellectual side. They of course end the guest appearance with a little black magic to keep you on your toes.

I thought later that he was the perfect example of how to be an entertainer. You take the stage and become that character. And when you leave the stage you lose that persona. I know that Alice Cooper did not always live the perfect life, but I think he is a good example.